Week 15: Superpower

Before superheroes become "super," they always face two problems.

Problem 1: They must somehow realize that they have the power.

Problem 2: Even after receiving their power, they still need to learn how to hone it.

It’s no surprise to me that comic book writers gave these problems to superheroes, because us humans have the same problems. We all have the same superpower, we struggle to realize it, and, once we realize it, we don’t know how to use it.

What is it? Love. Love is our superpower.  

It’s the greatest superpower of all. There is no Kryptonite for it. If used properly, It cannot be defeated.

Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha) knew it:

Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.

-Buddha

Jesus Knew it:

This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

-Jesus

Confucius Knew it:

Love others as you would love yourself

-Confucius

Muhammad knew it:

You will not complete your faith until you love one another.

-Muhammad

All the great thinkers knew it.

However, even with all this guidance, we still struggle with our superpower. It’s crazy. I feel like all humans are at some stage of working through our superpower. The greatest of us, like the crew above, breeze through the problems and move on to “saving the day.” I'm not there yet. I’m stuck somewhere in problem 2. I know that love is the greatest power I have against any issues I’m having but I don’t always have the courage to use it.  

This week my daughter Madeline made the jump from problem 1 to problem 2. Since I’m past that point I was able to recognize that she was approaching it. It was cool but stressful helping her realize she had a superpower. She acted just like most superheroes do when they find out about their power. She didn't want it. She resisted it. She realize that nothing would be the same now that she recognized her power and she wanted her old life back. I explained to her that it’s doesn't work that way. Once you know about the power, you can’t go back. You can fumble through problem 2 like I am, but you can’t go back to not knowing.

This was upsetting for the her. She didn’t want this kind of responsibility. She never asked for this power. None of us did. But it’s ours. It’s the only superpower we’ve got. However, Since it’s the strongest one out there it is so difficult to control.   

She was dealing with an issue of bullying. She was not the bully or victim. She was the bystander. However, as the bystander she had sided with the bully and allowed the bullying to continue. She was afraid to speak up. This is very common when someone doesn’t know about their superpower. They’re afraid because they don’t know the depth of their power. When we see this in a superhero movie or when reading a comic book we get so frustrated because they have a superpower and should be able to easily solve the problem. But they can’t because they are still in problem 1.

As I spoke with Maddie about the situation, she began to realize something. All of a sudden, she knew that her superpower, love, was the only thing that could stop the bullying. She talked though other options but she acknowledged that none of them would work. Only love would work.

“But it’s so hard” she said.

I said “I know.”

I woke up to find this written on Maddie’s board the next morning.

There are a lot of people in this world that never realize that they have a superpower. Since they never realize it, they often think that there are other superpowers that exist. Fear is the greatest of these fake superpowers. Bullies know how to use fear. Often times they call it love. They claim that love is what is causing them to incite fear. For example, people love this country; therefore it justifies their fear of foreigners. Bullies in school do the same thing. They’ll say “Let’s not play with so-and-so because we are a special group. If you play with so-and-so then you can’t play with me.” Fear. It’s scary, but it is no match for love.       

Fear is only strong when love is absent. What happens when you infuse love into a bullying situation? The bully mistreats the victim. You love the victim. The bully mistreats you. You love the bully. The bully rallies others to mistreat you. You love the others. It will be a struggle. Don’t get me wrong; but love cannot lose. Love will slowly back the fear into a corner. Once the power of fear has been neutralized, the bully is powerless. Love prevails.   

The non-violence movements of the last century led by Gandhi, MLK Jr. and Mandela are the greatest recent examples of this. Once the freedom fighters were no longer afraid, the bullies were rendered powerless. Love brought independence to India. Love ended Jim Crow. Love elected Mandela.       

Back to Maddie’s point though: “But it’s so hard”. I wish I could have told her how to do it. I wish there was some kind of formula for that, but there isn’t. There is only one answer. Practice. We have to practice. Whatever the problem. Whatever the challenge. We have to activate our superpower. The more we use love the easier it gets. I never really thought about it like that until I was explaining it to Maddie, but love is just like anything else. It takes practice. Gandhi didn’t make his famous “Salt March” on day one of his movement. MLK Jr. didn’t see the “mountaintop” on his first speech. Mandela spent nearly 30 years in prison until he realize love was the only way.     

So, that’s our homework this week. Activate your superpower. It may be rusty, but it’s the only thing that works. Practice makes perfect. Now get out there and practice!

Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.

-Martin Luther King, Jr.