Week 16: Bridges

I try to make this blog about people and not politics, but this week made it tough. It’s kind of a big deal when a president fires the FBI director, especially when that FBI director is the head of an investigation that involves the president. I would like to talk about this because, wherever your loyalties lie, you must admit it has been an historic week.

As this week labored to its end, I kept coming back to two age old phrases I remember from my childhood. I don’t remember who said the first one the most, but I think it was probably my dad. When there was a conflict between people, it would often come up that one should “not burn any bridges.” The second one was uttered often by my neighbor, Mrs. Reutter. When people were thinking about things too far into the future she would say, “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” For some reason, the events of this week got me thinking about bridges.  

“Don’t burn bridges.” I do not know the inner workings of our current president, but from an outsider's perspective, he seems to burn a lot of bridges. This week he fired the FBI director, and from the reaction of the FBI, Congress and others, it seems like he burned more than one bridge with this action.

Tweet from the president after different accounts
were leaked about the reasons for Comey’s firing.  

When I was a young teacher, I had disagreement with the school’s Dean of Students. We didn’t see eye-to-eye on some sort of discipline issue. We had a heated argument at a faculty meeting, and another heated argument with the principal trying to mediate. It wasn’t looking good, but I remember thinking, “man, I need this guy. He’s the Dean. We may not see eye-to-eye, but we need to find a way to make it work.” This was one bridge that I didn’t want to burn.

We worked through it. We compromised. We respected each other, and we moved forward: together. I ended up building a strong relationship with this Dean and, through that relationship, we counseled, taught and mentored countless young people. When I had issues with students in the classroom, he had my back. Whenever students wanted to bad mouth him, they didn’t find an ear in me. We could have burned that bridge. If we did, all the good that came out of our relationship would have been lost.

This was a huge lesson for me at the time. I was young and I thought everyone had to think like me. That experience taught me to focus on the “end” rather than the “means.” In the end, the dean and I wanted what was best for the students. It was the means we disagreed on. There are a lot of bridges to the end; not just one.

Do James Comey and Donald Trump want what’s best for America? I’d like to think so. I wish our president would ask himself that question, and start mending and building bridges instead of burning them. There are a lot of bridges to the end; not just one.

“What are we going to do after lunch?” I would ask, and Mrs. Reutter would always say, “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” It was a nice way of saying, “just eat your lunch, kid. Focus on this moment.”

The first year at my current school, Intrinsic Schools, was difficult. It was a new school and we had a lot of growing pains. Halfway through the year everyone started thinking about the next year. This is true. In about January, everyone seemed to switch focus from the burning bridge we were standing on, to the bridge in the distance. The administration started working on how we were going to change things for the next year, and transition into our new building. The teachers started to thinking about what they were going to do the following year. Many were looking for new jobs.

One of the biggest challenges in a situation like that is to figure out if you have come to the bridge yet.  The administration needed to think about the future. They were already at the bridge and, therefore, making plans to cross was appropriate. Some of the teachers felt like the school wasn’t a good fit for them and so it was appropriate for them to make preparations to “cross the bridge.” However, I wasn’t there yet. I didn’t know if the school was a good fit for me. So, I made a choice. I refused to think about the next year. I decided to “cross that bridge when I came to it.” I am so glad I did. By the time I got to the “bridge,” the whole situation changed. I crossed with ease.  

One of the first days of the first year at Intrinsic. These students are graduating in a few weeks!    

I feel like everyone in the country right now has a million questions. However, like me, most of us don’t really have any idea what’s going on. We read, listen and watch the news, but we don’t really know what’s going on. All we know is that every week some crazy story seems to come out of Washington. We’re worried about our future. We want to know what’s “going to happen after lunch.” We have the right to be worried and concerned, but I think at this point we need to wait, and focus on the moment. We don’t have enough information. We don’t know what all this means yet. What should we do about Comey and Russia? I think we should take Mrs. Reutter's advice and, “cross that bridge when we come to it.” Maybe we’ll need to protest? Maybe we’ll come to that bridge at the next election cycle? We’ll get there, but for now,  “just eat your lunch, kid. Focus on this moment.”

This week left most Americans with a bad taste in their mouth. Some Americans think the FBI and the “establishment” are out to get the president. Some Americans think the president has secrets that he is hiding. It’s easy to get caught up in the story and lose focus on our own lives.

That’s our homework this week: Take a look down and realize that you are standing on a bridge. Don’t burn it down! If you are having a disagreement try to figure out what each person wants in the end. If you have a similar end in mind, then why must bridges be burned? Mend those bridges. You may need cross them in the future. Try to figure out what bridge you’re on. Don’t try to cross bridges that you haven’t arrived to yet. The situation could be totally different by the time you get there.